Reflecting on the end of the 1st semester

 Quotes from the last week of the semester: in a them, me format,

Them “She sat on the floor”

Me: “WHAT! And I missed it” ::stops foot::

Them: “yep”

Me: “dam it”

Them: “Next time, I am going to put Harper in my bag”*

Me: “he’s noisy”

Them: “Its ok”

Me: “What will your roommate think”

Them: “Its going to be a surprise”

Me: “What will she say about the litter box in the kitchen”

Them “ ‘Its for guests’”

Them: “I had waffles with Ice Crème on top for lunch”

Me: “That sounds great, I had a cookie”

 Them: "Thats it"

Me: "Yep"

Favorite moments from the semester:

The Knighting

The toilet Bowl Theory

Reading week picnic

Advent worship

Of the light

As I sit here procrastinating about completing my final papers and I realy wish that I could focus on procrastination because I do it so very well. 

But continuniting on with the advent theme that this week has bought forth, I think to a conversation that I had this week.  A friend of mine and I where discussing many things but it was clear to me that this friend needed to see how much they where loved and needed to see that light that God has bestwed upon each of us within us and around us.

            They call this time of year the season of light, ironic because its dark at 4:45pm now. I am one who does like a good twilight but its hard to see the light when I’m in class or otherwise occupied for most of it. Its also cold now, so even when I could be not otherwise enaged and enjoying the light it involves wearing shoes and my coat.  True fact I do not like to wear shoes.

            So the light is very fleeting, in my basement apartment we have no overhead lights, A fun surprise to walk into in August. My roommate and I for our first week survived with my one touch lamp, the stove hood light, and the bathroom light. It was then that I was perhaps most grateful for the light that nature provides. Now that we have been settled in here for a semester, we have more lights including my roommates wonderful ‘illuminate the world’ lamp.

(c) 2009 Betty L. Ga***n Shelter Island NY

            I am blessed enough to have many sources of physical outside light as well as other persons illumination. For some people they think they might only need one or the other to survive.  But I would like to counter that you need both. As one is something that you can see even with the untrained eye or soul, the other takes some time to see. I do assert however that you can learn to see both types of light in new ways even if you know how to see them presently.

            But back to my friend, I told them it was clear to me that they where reflecting God’s light and love unto the world and they had been bestowed some very powerful gifts that are not given often by humans to one another.  It was my question to them “why is it that if all these other people see the light in you, why is that you can not see it in yourself’.

            I don’t know the answer to this question for anyone other then myself.  Julian of Norwich states in the long text of  “Revelations of Devine Love” that even when someone seemingly in Augustinine terms to have ‘fallen so far’ that they can never return to the light. There remains a flicker of  light of the divine within them, that can be rekindled at anytime and thus lead to return to Devine. Whatever the Devine is to you.  

(c) 2007 Betty L. Ga***n High Falls NY

So dear friends as we march into finals, the end of the year, the winter holidays, the shortest day of the year and then perhaps a short break. We would all do well to continually rekindle the light within is to let the warmth of it fill every cell of our being. To see ourselves as creatures of the light, ones that are beloved even when we are not in the light, ones that are beloved.

Sitting

            In my BSW work one of the most important things I was taught, learned and put into practice was to sit with some in there ‘sadness’. This is truly just sitting with someone in the quiet silence, with someone and there pain, grief or sadness. Yes there is a difference between the two.  Its always a fine line between when is silence just that or when it is meditative silence.  I find that the meditative silence is incredibly beneficial and when employed correctly is very powerful. 

            But one thing that I was never expressly instructed to do was to be with someone in there joy.  A few weeks ago we had a beautiful chapel service done by Spectrum, the GLBTQA organization for the theo school. It was very moving and clearly the Sprit was moving about quite freely.  As I was receiving communion from the preacher I could see a single tear on there cheek and I could see that they where clearly emotional. I asked if I could hug them and they said I could.  As I pressed my cheek upon there’s I felt part of her tear on my cheek.  Now I’m not sure if what she was feeling joy, but I do think that she was feeling some degree of acceptance.

            Again with Advent, we are supposed wait to anticipate. Do we do this?  Sometimes maybe for that hour or so, that we are in church each week. But are we often just ‘sitting’ feeling the range of emotions that the advent and Christmas seasons bring. We think in our hyper commercialized America that we this is the season of gifts and buying and indulgence. But do we stop to consider that for many people this season frankly sucks.  With so many losses that are faced during the year and with this economy more and more all the time, do we stop to sit with someone in this type of advent pain.  

But where is the joy you ask. I think the joy comes with knowing that someone wants to be with you to tell you its ok to feel what you are feeling.  Lets sit together and wait for better things to come. For surely we are all beloved and not everything is going to be bad forever.