A Year of Thanks 2012

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            A thanks to the friend who ‘caught me’ and made me go get help

            A thanks to the friend who let me cry on her bed

            A thanks to the friend who taught me how to knit

            A thanks to the classmates that helped the Holy Spirit to dwell and open me

            A thanks to the co-workers who taught me

            A thanks to the folks I ministered with, for teaching me, and letting me be part of your life, your secrets, and your hopes

            A thanks to the people in my life who understood

            A thanks for the couple who bought me pancakes on Palm Sunday

            A thanks to the roommate who shared her bunny with me

            A thanks for the courtyard conversations

            A thanks to the folks who I traveled with, who made a dream possible

            A thanks to the teachers who where willing to go to bat for me

            A thanks to the folks who I know that I can sick on others to fight for me

            A thanks to the people I’ve met this year who get where I’m coming from

            A thanks to face book for keeping me intact, and connected

            A thanks for pharmaceuticals

            A thanks to the people who are part of my ‘team’

            A thanks to Barnes and Noble for keeping me stocked

            A thanks for glue, that has allowed me to glue part of my life to paper

            A thanks to Amazon for keeping me stocked on just about everything

            A thanks to the TV show Rev. for helping me to keep things in perspective

            A thanks for the time of darkness to learn how to see differently in the obscure

            A thanks to the time spent on the bus for two weeks

            A thanks to Hope

            A thanks to journaling

            A thanks to art, and music

            A thanks to the inspiration that helped me hit my first home run, and experience my first post sermon high

            A thanks for the detour

            A thanks for the five day time out

            A thanks to the jerks who made me stand up to them, and restored my courage

            A thanks to the internet for information, and comradely,

            A thanks to the worlds best nurse

            A thanks for Sunday night TV watching

            A thanks to community, even when it is complicated

            A thanks to ‘all in this together’

            A thanks to the Turkish public works man who said ‘Panik Yuklu’ to us

            A thanks for the steak knives going to butter knives

            A thanks for tea

            A thanks for my carpet

            A thanks for dreams, not dashed

            A thanks for new dreams to be dreamed

            A thanks for loss, and the grieving and mourning that come with it

            A thanks for new experiences that, challenge, uplift, push down, and push back

            A thanks for my air conditioner

            A thanks for Snapple, and my Snapple dealer

            A thanks for freinds who celebrate with you, and weep with you

            A thanks for the scholarships I get to go to school

            A thanks to all that have taught me this past year, good, bad, indifferent, what I want to do, what I don’t want to do, life lessons of all sorts

            A thanks to those who made me learn something on my own. 

<3

Surprising Theologians

           So this morning I went to the hospital, and happened upon a remembrance for September 11th and all the chaos in the world. At a time of sharing for the patients they where asked to tell what caused them stress. The stories put a knives in my heart, but in spite of all of the pain and suffering and trauma that I heard there where so many gems of hope.
        One patient expressed how she understood that life and death where both gifts from God and that we needed to see them that way. She continued on to explain that God will take care of us and upon death all of our questions about religion will be answered when we meet God. Another patient proclaimed that we needed to be thankful for every moment and to dream. The director of chaplaincy services reminded us all that the world outside of the hospital was chaotic everyone could help each other.
        It was pleasantly surprising to me to hear people who are not trained at a seminary level to be theologians know more, and have the assurance of what they said in there hearts. Maybe once you obtain certain knowledge you start to lose the ability to dream that answers do not need to be in books, or contained in the answers of those with PhD’s or M.Div’. Assurance is the knowledge that Grace is yours and Grace is like oxygen. You don’t always remember how much you need it, but its always there for you when you want it (all the time).

Photo From Shane Rounce

todays thought

Joan: Let's... let's say you're God.
Cute Boy God: Joan, I am God.
Joan: Okay, well, let's see a miracle.
Cute Boy God: Okay. How 'bout that?

Camera pans to a large tree nearby. Cute Boy God stops beneath it.

Joan: That's a tree.
Cute Boy God: Let's see you make one.

Last week I had to go to the Dr's and I ended up getting x-rays of my foot and they reveled that something is quite wrong with my foot. But I had to contain my excitement of my continued wonderment of X-rays. I've had at least a dozen in my life they should not be that amazing to me. But yet still I view them as miracles that have all kinds of good linked to them

Purple

When I came home on Friday I cam home to the first flowers of spring bursting forth. I find it interesting that each spring at least in my yard the color of the flowers are purple. Purple is historically the color of royalty but also for Christians the color of lent.

Purple was the color of royalty because it was a hard dye to make and cost a lot of money due to the time it took to create it. I tend to look at how long it took for the bulbs and seeds to generate there energy to create the blooms that bring me such joy and think how they came from the seemingly dead earth but yet are alive. We place purple on our worship spaces on ash Wednesday. Well I am not sure of the ‘official answer’ to why we do this I think it is because we are awaiting. We know the end to the story, that God was seemingly dead but came to prove that everything that we had assumed was wrong. That a royal had come not to keep there kin-dom to themselves but rather to share, so we all could be clothed in the purple of royalty.

I am also drawn to think about one of my favorite movies(I confess I have not read the book, woe to me I know) The Color Purple. Purple is a huge theme that runs through this book along with God. Purple for the main character has associated purple with negative things. A mistress/lover of her husband through their time together shows her that life rather needs to be celebrated. When they discuss this they are in a purple field of lowers and says "You must look at all the good and acknowledge them because God placed them all on earth". After this she comes to learn to love herself and to love God.

Purple for me is a sign of life, just as much as red is a sign of the spirit. Maybe if we think differently we can seek to see the extra-ordinary in the ordinary.

In the snow

This past week I took a Jan Term intensive, more on that at a latter date. However our five-day class got cut short due to one of the trifecta snow storms that have hit the east coast the past few weeks. It was entertaining to me to see everyone upset about nine inches of snow. I’m not sure if its me and my potential cockiness or my New York attitude or just my years of snow related driving that made me feel like this was nothing. Regardless of this I used it as a day to camp out and then to help someone move. Yes move across campus in the snow.

            Now this person had a lot of stuff and was not well packed for a move in any kind of weather, let alone snow and poorly managed snow as well. I digress, so I start gathering possessions that I do not know the value of and placing them into vessels prepared for transport.  Soon we start trudging it the 900 feet from building T to building W where the new residence was. 900 feet really is not that far but in the snow everything is more, longer, colder. Thankfully we found people on campus who we begged into helping and only one slight fall, and minor twist of the ankle by yours truly, we moved a futon a kitchen, clothing from two closets and a dresser and books(not a lot thankfully, seminary students do tend to have  lot of these…).

            It seems funny to me that we did something that we all do rather frequently, and that is move in a time when it seems that you should be sitting still. Creation sits still in the snow, as evidenced by the birds that flock to my front yard at home in NY but stay nested in the height of the storm. But yet once again I was going against the current and well not frocking in the snow doing something somewhat absurd.

            As of late I have come to realize that my life is somewhat absurd, and does not always make sense to me all the time. But I had the unique opportunity to see that we are never quite prepared all the time for what will be asked of us.  I could have said ‘nope its cold and I’m not going to go trudging through the snow’ to the person in need of moving. But what would I be doing if I did that? I would be sitting and taking a passive role, in what turned out to be an entertaining afternoon with good conversation and only a few aspirin latter it was done.

            So often we are caught unprepared, doing activities in quite the wrong season.  But we must stand and deliver with the best that we know we can do. Even if we are quite confidant that we have no clue what it will be. In this case my hands and virgo need to organize where the best gifts that I could offer. Maybe next time it will be my mean crockpot skills, or my box of tissues, or something more.

Yes(if only for you)

In my home church there is an older gentleman who I have known for my entire life and has known my mother for her entire life. My mom also looks out for him in more ways then one to keep it simple. Recently however he lost his wife of 60 plus years. He is slipping in to a dementia more and more each day and frequently calls to ask where his (insert something that we have no clue what he is asking about), or to ask on Sunday morning at 10am where he should be (at church).

Last year when I started doing the service on power point and projecting his heart leapt for joy and I am quite sure it physically did. He was so giddy and exclaimed to me that he felt like he was a kid again signing in the choir. He could see the lyrics and the prayers and got to actually be a participant in worship and not an observer. I figured at that point if I made him happy it was all-good.

Last week at the funeral/memorial service, his siblings that have been gosh knows where there. I learned today that he was so excited to tell his siblings about the projector. Something that to me seems to trivial and just ordinary is such a miracle to him. As I was saying goodbye to him after the reception, not knowing what to say other then “I’m sorry for your loss’. He kissed me on the cheek and said ‘your going to be here Sunday right?” “Yep I’ll be there”. Part of me wanted to say ‘if only for you, if only because it means so very much to you’. But I knew that if I could bring such a seemingly simple thing to him, maybe it was brining some joy to others also. To quote from Joan of Arcadia, ‘the ripples where/are good’.

So I encourage you blog readers to act in a ‘yes(if only for you)’ way more frequently then you think necessary. And to keep doing so, the barista that you get your coffee from learn there name it makes a difference (when my customers when I was a photo tech used my name they got superior service), or the person you pass on the way to class smile and say hello, or fill in your blank. You know what it is.

Disney = Epic Bible Storys

You have got to love a sermon where there is a mention of a Disney film. Today it was Toy Story and how each of us like Woody who has Andy’s name (his owner) on his boot. We have the name of God written not on our boots but on our hearts. She also compared toy story to the epic-ness of a bible story, which is so very true! I also suppose that you can see a lot of bible stories in Disney movies if you care to look for them there.

Soul Meaning

Today this popped up in my 'daily thoughts' app on iGoogle



When things do not work out as you planned, then smile at Me and say "Have Your Way then". Knowing that My Loving response will be the best for you."

-two listeners


Sometimes the thoughts are not very inspiring to me, but this one struck me. So often I feel that I know the best way about something when in reality I don't know much at all. The past few weeks have been a re-education for me. The realization that I am not an academic seminarian and sometimes have no clue what people are referencing when they talk about certain scripture references. I feel stupid and wonder 'what am I doing here!" I thought that I had bombed out on a certain paper and after doing so with at least one more post for another class I was so surprised and filled with joy and Grace when I got this response back with some positive commentary. I wanted to go run and kiss the professor for her extended thoughts. She raised a good question that I had neglected to think of with regards to my paper. It was a moment that reminded me I don't have the answers, and sometimes I don't want to have the answers. I want to learn the answers so that I can teach others to learn to seek the answers and get the ones that they need.

I also felt for a few days that my background as a social worker might be a hindrance but in reality it sets things up differently for me. I look at things from a position of empowerment. Its great to stand from the pulpit (or behind the desk) and tell people what to do or say or think but does that relay do anything in the long run? To me no its better to get away from the pulpit or the desk and give them the tools to learn and make there own calls and feelings about something be it about scripture or the big questions like 'why am I in pain'. Giving ownership transforms from a surface meaning to a soul meaning, an understanding that will last past the sermon or small group discussion. My style is always going to be different but in the end it will prove to be a strength.

And besides i've never done anything the 'prescribed way' anyways. Why change it now?